Has anybody else noticed the inordinate amount of squirrels that scamper around Coventry every day? We have, so we thought it would be a good idea to tell you fifteen things you absolutely must know about them, so you can be prepared for an encounter. Here they are…
- They’re tiny. The smallest squirrel in the world is about 10cm long and will literally fit in the palm of your hand.
- They’re also massive. The largest squirrel in the world is about 3ft long, will literally fit in a baby’s pushchair and has more colours in its hair than Katy Perry.
- They work in pairs. If you can only see one squirrel, be terrified in the knowledge that another one is near. Watching you.
- They have an attitude problem. If you go for a walk in a park, they will gather all the wildlife into a gang and harass you, ducks and swans in tow. (Source: personal experience.)
- Their sweat glands are in their feet. Better than all over the body, like, ahem, us.
- Their acorns make oak trees. When they bury an acorn but forget where it is, it grows into an oak tree. If there’s any justice in the world, we’ll start crediting them for pretty nature views.
- They are often referred to as “living fossils”, due to the fact that they haven’t changed much in 37million years. Technically, squirrels were perfect right from when they were invented. (Invented?)
- They can jump 20ft and run at 20mph. Someone notify Usain Bolt and Greg Rutherford that they have some competition.
- They’re practically indestructible. They can fall up to 100ft without hurting themselves, so every squirrel should basically be named Thor.
- They can eat their own body weight in one week. Jealous much?
- Their eyes are positioned so they can see practically 360. So they’ve really just got eyes in the backs of their heads.
- Their teeth don’t stop growing. They have to gnaw things to stop their teeth from extending down into their necks, apparently. [despair face]
- Baby squirrels are called ‘kittens’. This gives new meaning to funny cat videos.
- Killing a White/Albino squirrel is punishable by law in America and Canada. And killing any sort of awesome squirrel (or any animal at all, for that matter) anywhere in the world probably should be illegal as well, no?
- Apparently, they can’t differentiate between green and red. This is why they eat unripe berries as well as ripe berries. I’m not convinced. Maybe they just don’t ‘curr’ about ripeness.
So, I’ve come to the conclusion that squirrels are actually superheroes trapped inside a 10cm-3ft long furry bundle of joy.
There are superheroes in Coventry. No big.