The 10 stages of a holiday with your friends
1. Getting a pre-holiday lecture from your parents
It’s the day of the holiday and the WhatsApp group is going wild with excitement. Your mum is giving you the talk she’s been giving you for the past week; “Have you got your passport? Don’t forget to wear sun cream at all times, text me when you land, behave yourself, don’t go in the sea when you’ve had a drink, no tattoos when you’re drunk, oh and have fun.” It’s go time.
2. Having an overpriced pint in the airport
There’s nothing better to settle the pre-flight nerves than a cold £6 pint in the airport. Sure, it may only be 6am, but you’re officially on holiday now. It would be rude not to.
3. Blaming your friends for booking a lousy hotel
You’ve made it to your destination along with your luggage, and you arrive at the hotel. Quickly you realise that the photos on the internet were a lie. The ‘newly refurbished 5-star Twin Double Room with Self Catering Facilities’ turns out to be two old beds with uncomfortable mattresses and cardboard sheets, and a kettle on the side. But you’re on holiday now so you don’t care, it’s time to head to the pool.
You’re tired and slightly tipsy from the €5 blue coloured pitcher containing every spirit they had behind the bar, but it’s time to head out and see what the town has to offer. Stepping out of the hotel, you enter the first bar you come across as they entice you in with the promise of cheap drinks and karaoke. You begin your descent into mayhem. From here on in, it’s all a blur.
5. Feeling sore the morning after the night before
“What happened last night?” One of the first things you’ll say when you wake up in the midday heat, bed sheets strewn all over the room. There will be that one friend who remained relatively sober. They’ll be telling how drunk you got and all the embarrassing things you did. But it’s time to forget that because it’s a new day and there’s no point dwelling on the past when there’s a beach out there.
6. Falling asleep on the beach in the midday sun
You forgot the one thing your mum told you to do. “Wear factor 50 at all times.” You accidentally take a nap in the sun and your bronze glow has taken on a reddish hue. The shower now turns into a painful dance around the hot water, and your friends get bored of you complaining, but you soldier on!
7. Suggesting a quiet night in to recover
You’re halfway through the holiday and you’re bored of waking up midday with a sore head, so you suggest a night in. You get a few drinks for the night and take to the balcony for a quiet relaxing card game together. It’s a great way to wind down so you can wake up the next day feeling refreshed and invigorated, ready to hit the strip and do it all over again.
8. Going all out on the last night
It’s the last day and you’ve done it all. The banana boat, the countless shots and a tattoo to prove it. It’s been a week of partying in the sun, but you never want it to end. The last night is when you go BIG. You know the bars you want to hit, the hottest clubs and the perfect selfie spots. Your flight is at 8am the next day but you don’t care, so you get packed up and ready to leave, then you hit the strip.
9. The painful flight home
The most painful, saddening part of the trip. The excitement has diminished as you realise you’re heading home. There’s a baby screaming on the plane and you have a pounding head. It’s a journey that feels like it lasts forever. When you finally get off the plane, you’re greeted with pouring rain and single digit temperatures. A painful reminder you’re home.
10. Planning the next holiday
It’s been a day since you got home and you’re back to normality. Midday margaritas by the pool have been replaced with soft drinks in the staff room. The WhatsApp group is full of reminiscing memories of the last week, and the embarrassing photos have started to hit Facebook. Things are starting to return to normal, so you begin planning next year’s holiday. “Budapest anyone?”